Adverts

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Adverts are advertisements that play before and after many programs on both TVs and radios. Unlike many programs, adverts are randomized and can be viewed multiple times. As the name implies, they're not considered useful and serve primarily immersive purposes.

TV adverts

Companies

Churns-R-Us: Daisy Dairy

Television.png

Person1:

I am a cow.
I am here to tell you something mooo-tiful.
Something... ice creamy.
Come to Churn R Us.
Enjoy ice cream from our very own Daisy Dairy.
Feel the most nutritious taste explosion known to man.
This. This is the message of the cows.

Person2:

♪ Churn R Us! Arms above your head! ♪
♪ Say: "YAAAAAY!" ♪

Churns-R-Us: Deluxe Chocolate Cone

Television.png

Person1:

Tough day?
Boss giving you grief?
Kids driving you crazy?
Finding yourself ambushed by folk you don't know?
We have an answer!
The new Churn R' Us Deluxe Chocolate Cone!
Come visit today!

Fashionabelle

Television.png

Person1:

That is BEAUTIFUL!

Person2:

This coat? It's from Fashionabelle.
Clothes of distinction, at fine prices.

Person1:

Well I know where I'm going!

Person2:

Right now?

Person1:

You said it! Right now!

Person2:

Fashionabelle!

Fossoil

Television.png

Person1:

It's an uncertain world.
You need people to rely on.
People to trust.
At Fossoil we understand that.
We've cleaned up the Gulf of Alaska.
We've cleaned up our act.
And our gas prices are as low as they can go.
Let's move on together.
Let's see others do the same.

Greene's

Television.png

Person1:

Hi my name's Frank Greene, and I run Greene's Grocery.
These days, Greene's is kind of a big deal.
But we haven't forgotten where we came from.
When my father set up shop all that time ago?
He believed in family, in quality and in America.
I'm the same. How about you guys?

Person2:

"We're all the same!"

Person1:

Greene's Grocery: You're part of the family.

Jolly Good Fish + Chips

Television.png

Person1:

♪ Jolly good. Jolly good. Jolly good-good-GOOD! ♪
♪ Jolly good. Jolly good. Jolly good-good-good. ♪
♪ Jolly good. Jolly good. Jolly good-good-GOOD! ♪
♪ Jolly GOOOOOOOD! Jolly Good Fish and Chips! ♪

Person2:

Authentic British cuisine!
Try our new Biscuit and Gravy menu!
Bottomless iced tea!
Come today!

Pharmahug

Television.png

Person1:

It makes a difference to pick up your medication...
... and see a smile.
Your good health means so much.
We're here to help.
We're here for your support.
Pharmahug: your health...
... your store.

Pile o' Crepe

Television.png

Person1:

Welcome to Pile o' Crepe!
What can I get for you today?

Person2:

PANCAKES!

Person1:

Pancakes, or waffles?

Person2:

PAAANCAKES!

Person1:

What sort of pancake sir? We have over 20 on the menu!

Person2:

PAAAAAANCAAAAKES!

Person1:

Coming right up!

Person3:

♪ We're called Pile o' Crepe! ♪
♪ Pile o' Crepe! Pile o' Crepe! ♪

Pizza Whirled

Television.png

Person1:

Where in the Pizza Whirled are we today?

Person2:

Hello there old boy! Pip pip!

Person1:

England! With the Olde English Renaissance Pizza!
Cheddar cheese, black pudding, egg and bacon...
... lovingly layered on a thick Pizza Whirled Crust!
What do you make of that, pal?

Person2:

Jolly fantastic!

Person1:

I'll say!

Seahorse Coffee

Television.png

Person1:

The Caramel Flan Latte!
Brand new at Seahorse Coffee!
Refreshing! Filling!
The pick-me-up you're craving!
There's no better way to start the day!

Person2:

"Welcome to Seahorse Coffee! What can I get you today?"

Person1:

"One Caramel Flan Latte!"

Person2:

"Coming right up!"

ValuInsurance

Television.png

Person1:

In today's busy cut and thrust world...
...accidents happen.
Right as rain today, sick tomorrow....
... but anxious always.
You need a safety net.
You need reassurance.
Today, my friend, you need ValuInsurance.
Medical care to look after all of your tomorrows.

I ❤️ Wok & Rolls

Television.png

Person1:

♪ I love Wok and Rolls! ♪
♪ It's the new style of Chinese Restaurant, baby! ♪
♪ I love Wok and Rolls! ♪
♪ So why doncha come and chow down with me! ♪

Person2:

Our award winning breakfast menu is BACK through public demand!
Come visit 'I *heart* Wok and Rolls' today!

Person1:

♪ I love Wok and Rolls! ♪

Movies

Dr. Oids

Television.png

Person1:

I am Dr. Oids.
Welcome to my... robot laboratory.

Person2:

In a future no-one thought would come.
Live robots no-one thought could love.
Or... dance.

Person3:

♪ Do the robot! Do the robot! ♪
♪ Do the robot dance ♪

Person1:

Stop this frivolity!

Person2:

Dr. Oids will see you now!

Person4:

Dr. Oids, Rated Universal.
Out now in theaters!

The Forgotten Element

Television.png

Person1:

Earth. Air. Wind. Fire.
But there is... another.
There is a Forgotten Element.

Person2:

  • drums* *explosion*

Person3:

Can't stand a little... magic, Buck?

Person2:

  • Sprrring!*

Person4:

I can't believe these things come in that size!

Person2:

  • Crash!* *Gunshot!*

Person3:

The elements are against us today, huh?

Person4:

Not for long. Let's kick some butt!

Person2:

  • tadaaaa!*

Person5:

The Forgotten Element! Rated PG-13!
Out now in theaters!

PAWS: The Movie

Television.png

Person1:

Deep in the Magical Woodland.
Further then anyone has gone before.
There was a Raccoon.
A Raccoon with a mission.
A Raccoon who would change everything.
He would show the world how to laugh.
He would show the world how to love.
The Age of Spiffo had begun.
PAWS: The Movie. Rated G.
Out now in theaters!

Products

Incontileve

Television.png

Person1:

I'm Doctor Cox, and I'm here to talk to YOU about bladder control.
Now I've been helping families for forty long years, but I have NEVER...
... come across a treatment like Incontileve.
Everywhere I go, good friends say 'Thank you Doctor Cox'.
Thanks for asking family doctors to recommend: Incontileve.

Person2:

Product may cause swelling of the urinary tract....
...headaches, nausea and sudden irritation.

Person1:

Ask your doctor today!

Ivanov clubs

Television.png

Person1:

I don't know about you, but when I golf with my buddies...
There's always this special moment.
You get your clubs out the trunk, your friend does the same...
And you compare - right?
Until I bought a set of Ivanov clubs, that was a mental battle I always lost.
To get the best, you've gotta look for the best.
So it's your lucky day.
Today I'm here to show you: the best.
Let's find out why golfing the Ivanov way is...
...pitch perfect.

POP

Television.png

Person1:

♪ Never let the music stop! ♪
♪ Grab, grab, grab a can of... POP! ♪

Person2:

Have you tried new Orange-Lite Pop?
The ice-cold, all-American taste of pure refreshment!
Quench your thirst!
Energize your being!

Person1:

♪ Never let the music stop! ♪
♪ Grab, grab, grab a can of... POP! ♪

Tooks Bear

Television.png

Person1:

Now I'd like you to meet my good friend Tooks Bear.
Tooks Bear is the friendliest, smiliest, bounciest bear in town.
You know why you'll like him the most?
He's only $49.99 plus postage and packing.
All I have to do is press this little button on his paw and...

Person2:

"I'm Tooks Bear! Let's go on an adventure!"

Person1:

We sure will Tooks! For $49.99 who'd resist?

Kitten Knives

Television.png

Advert:

Do we have an amazing product today for you!
This looks like any normal Kitchen Knife, am I right?
Well - if you thought I was right, I was wrong.
This is a Kitchen Knife by Kitten.
Kitten Knives are strong, sturdy and sharp.
Look at this handle, I mean just look at the handle.
Chopping. Slicing. Dicing.
All a joy.

Politics

Democrat Mahoney

Television.png

Person1:

In 1992 Governor Cal Fairweather made a promise.
A promise he broke in two.
He said he'd invest.
He said he'd clean up.
He said the toxins discovered in our fields and forests would be eradicated.
He failed.
Vote Mahoney this Fall. Vote for Change.

Person2:

This has been an endorsed message by the Democrat party.


Republican Cal Fairweather

Television.png

Person1:

I'm Cal Fairweather, and I am the voice of progress.
I hunt. I shoot. I fish.
I see nature all around.
And it's clean, it's clear, it's as God intended.
We've spent our time testing the land around us.
Making sure the military testing thirty long years ago...
... to protect our country...
... was as safe as we always thought it was.
Know what?
Kentucky's as safe a place to live as it is beautiful.
Vote for Cal Fairweather. Vote for progress.

Person2:

This has been an endorsed message by the Republican party.

Radio adverts

Companies

Barg-N-Clothes

Radio.png

Person1:

The Barge-N-Clothes discount sale is now on!
These fine leather jackets - 50% off!
These work overalls? 80% off!
Can you afford to miss these prices?
Come on down to Barge-N-Clothes!

Churns-R-Us

Radio.png

Person1:

I'm a cow!
I am here to tell you something mooo-tiful.
Something... ice creamy.
Come to Churn R Us.
Enjoy ices from our very own Daisy Dairy.
Feel the most nutritious taste explosion known to man.
This. This is the message of the cows.

Person2:

♪ Churn R Us! Arms above your head! ♪
♪ Say: "YAAAAAY!" ♪

Cross Roads Mall

Radio.png

Person1:

♪ We'll meet you at the... Cross Roads! ♪
♪ We'll see you at the... Cross Roads! ♪

Person2:

The Cross Roads Mall!
For fun, for friends, for store after store!
Late night closing every Saturday!

Person1:

♪ We'll meet you at the... Cross Roads! ♪
♪ We'll see you at the... Cross Roads! ♪

Gas 2 Go/Fossoil

Radio.png

Person1:

My name's Valerie Pontin, and I work for Gas to Go!
Sure, we're a big name - but we know family.
I need to take Jimmy to ball practice.
Sally-Anne needs to meet her friends at the mall by five.
That's why I can rest easy knowing I pump the cheapest gas in the county.
Come on, join the Gas to Go family!

Person2:

Gas to Go, a Fossoil company.
Making amends. Working together.

Howie Zitron attorney-at-law

Radio.png

Person1:

I'm Howie Zitron, and I represent YOU.
I've served the good people of Muldraugh and West Point for twenty years!
Employment? Family? Marriage?
I know what you want and what you need.
And a consultation is free!
Howie Zitron attorney-at-law!
Local and best!
Even though I do say so myself!

Knox Country Pony Roam-O

Radio.png

Person1:

Howdy Neighbor!
I'm Joe McKenzie, and I run the Knox Country Pony Roam-O.
Horses: the finest animals our nation has to offer.
Whether you want your kids in the saddle...
... or whether you want a li'l cowboy in your life yourself.
We'll get you up on four legs.
Come visit us today!

Pop

Radio.png

Person1:

♪ Never let the music stop! ♪
♪ Grab, grab, grab a can of... POP! ♪

Person2:

Have you tried new Orange-Lite Pop?
The ice-cold, all-American taste of pure refreshment!
Quench your thirst!
Energize your being!

Person1:

♪ Never let the music stop! ♪
♪ Grab, grab, grab a can of... POP! ♪

Pile o' Crepe

Radio.png

Person1:

Welcome to Pile o' Crepe!
What can I get for you today?

Person2:

PANCAKES!

Person1:

Pancakes, or waffles?

Person2:

PAAANCAKES!

Person1:

What sort of pancake sir? We have over 20 on the menu!

Person2:

PAAAAAANCAAAAKES!

Person1:

Coming right up!

Person3:

♪ We're called Pile o' Crepe! ♪
♪ Pile o' Crepe! Pile o' Crepe! ♪

Seahorse Coffee

Radio.png

Person1:

The Caramel Flan Latte!
Brand new at Seahorse Coffee!
Refreshing! Filling!
The pick-me-up you're craving!
There's no better way to start the day!

Person2:

"Welcome to Seahorse Coffee! What can I get you today?"

Person1:

"One Caramel Flan Latte!"

Person2:

"Coming right up!"

Spiffo Burger

Radio.png

Person1:

What's better than a Spiffo Burger?
Still thinking? Well here's a clue...
Double XL Bacon!
Next time you're in a participating Spiffo's store...
Just use the magic words...
Unleash the Bacon!
And watch delicious happen!
The Double XL Bacon upgrade - in stores now!

Star-E-Plex

Radio.png

Person1:

Are you ready for Popcorn Thursday?
Come to the Star-E-Plex theater for action.
Come to the Star-R-Plex theater for romance.
Come every Thursday for HALF PRICE popcorn.
Find us at the Cross Roads Mall!

Taco del Pancho

Radio.png

Person1:

Ey, my name eez Pancho.
I am a leetle puppy dog!
I am 'ere to tell you one thing.
TACOS! BURRITOS! ENCHILLLLADAS!
ALL OF THAT GOOOOD STUFF!
COME TO THE TACO DEL PANCHO!
Take it from me! I'm wearing a hat!
Arriba!

West Point Gun Range and Hunting Center

Radio.png

Person1:

What's your gun to you Kentucky?

Person2:

"Freedom. Plain and simple."

Person3:

"My gun is my constitutional right."

Person4:

"My gun? It's my Friday night with the boys at the range!"

Person1:

The West Point Gun Range and Hunting Center.
God Bless America.

I ❤️ Wok & Rolls

Radio.png

Person1:

♪ I love Wok and Rolls! ♪
♪ It's the new style of Chinese Restaurant, baby! ♪
♪ I love Wok and Rolls! ♪
♪ So why doncha come and chow down with me! ♪

Person2:

Our award winning breakfast menu is BACK through public demand!
Come visit 'I *heart* Wok and Rolls' today!

Person1:

♪ I love Wok and Rolls! ♪

Zippee Market

Radio.png

Person1:

It's hot. It's too darn hot.
You feel that? That's Kentucky heat y'all.
You know what science just created?
The Slurp Burp - the number one iced drink to take that heat away.
What's more - you turn up at a Zippee Market and say 'it's too darn hot'...
That's 10% off your Slurp Burp purchase!
Lemon-lime. Cherry. Cola. You name it!
Zippee Market: Home of the Slurp Burp

Movies

PAWS: The Movie

Radio.png

Person1:

Deep in the Magical Woodland.
Further than anyone has gone before.
There was a Raccoon.
A Raccoon with a mission.
A Raccoon who would change everything.
He would show the world how to laugh.
He would show the world how to love.
The Age of Spiffo had begun.
PAWS: The Movie. Rated G.
Out now in theaters!

Politics

Democrat Mahoney

Radio.png

Person1:

In 1992 Governor Cal Fairweather made a promise.
A promise he broke in two.
He said he'd invest.
He said he'd clean up.
He said the toxins discovered in our fields and forests would be eradicated.
He failed.
Vote Mahoney this Fall. Vote for Change.

Person2:

This has been an endorsed message by the Democrat party.

Republican Cal Fairweather

Radio.png

Person1:

I'm Cal Fairweather, and I am the voice of progess.
I hunt. I shoot. I fish.
I see nature all around.
And it's clean, it's clear, it's as God intended.
We've spent our time testing the land around us.
Making sure the military testing thirty long years ago...
... to protect our country...
... was as safe as we always thought it was.
Know what?
Kentucky's as safe a place to live as it is beautiful.
Vote for Cal Fairweather. Vote for progress.

Person2:

This has been an endorsed message by the Republican party.

Trivia

  • Adverts can fearture names that differ from the ones than can be seen on logos. However, that can be due to a different pronunciation or just an oversight.

See also