Life and Living TV

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Life and Living TV is a television station that airs on channel 203 for nine days. It can give skill experience points and crafting recipes. Watched regularly for the first week, a player can gain significant amounts of experience in cooking and carpentry as well as a good start on fishing, farming, foraging and trapping. During off hours, various advertisements will play.

Content

The life and living channel has three shows that run at different times each day. An advertisement also runs at the beginning of each day.

Woodcraft
Woodcraft is a television show intended to assist people in their home woodworking projects. Each episode is on a new piece of furniture that can be built (Carpentry.
The Cook Show
The Cook Show is a television show intended to teach the viewer a new cooking recipe. Each episode is about a new recipe that can be cooked at home (Cooking).
Exposure Survival
Exposure Survival is a television show intended to teach the viewer skills to survive in the wilderness. Each episode teaches a different survival skill (fishing, farming, foraging, trapping, carpentry).

Schedule

Day 1 (07/09)[Note 1] 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
12:00 AM [Note 2] 00:00 [Note 2] Fishing 6 52.5 75 97.5
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 9 78.75 112.5 146.25
12:00 PM 12:00 Carpentry 6 52.5 75 97.5
6:00 PM 18:00 Fishing 5 43.75 62.5 81.25


Day 2 (07/10) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 6 52.5 75 97.5
12:00 PM 12:00 Carpentry 6 52.5 75 97.5
6:00 PM 18:00 Farming 6 52.5 75 97.5


Day 3 (07/11) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 5 43.75 62.5 81.25
12:00 PM 12:00 Carpentry 8 70 100 130
6:00 PM 18:00 Fishing 6 52.5 75 97.5


Day 4 (07/12) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 7 61.25 87.5 113.75
12:00 PM 12:00 Carpentry 6 52.5 75 97.5


Day 5 (07/13) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 6 52.5 75 97.5
12:00 PM 12:00 Carpentry 9 78.75 112.5 146.25
6:00 PM 18:00 Foraging 4 35 50 65


Day 6 (07/14) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 5 43.75 62.5 81.25
12:00 PM 12:00 Carpentry 8 70 100 130
6:00 PM 18:00 Trapping 9 78.75 112.5 146.25


Day 7 (07/15) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 7 61.25 87.5 113.75
12:00 PM 12:00 Carpentry 9 78.75 112.5 146.25
6:00 PM 18:00 Foraging 8 70 100 130


Day 8 (07/16) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 10 87.5 125 162.5
6:00 PM 18:00 Carpentry 3 26.25 37.5 48.75


Day 9 (07/17) 24h Skill XP ticks Slow Learner Base XP Fast Learner
6:00 AM 06:00 Cooking 6 52.5 75 97.5
  1. The TV schedule begins on the first day, which is July 9th by default. Modifying the start date in the sandbox options will also change the TV schedule's start date.
  2. 2.0 2.1 By default, the start hour is 9AM, which means this show ends too early for a player to watch it. It can be watched by changing the start hour in the sandbox options to 2AM or 5AM.

Transcript

The following is the complete transcript with times taken from media/radio/RadioData.xml

Note that each entry can only be seen once by the player. Multiple times for a single entry represent times when the entry is viewable, not that it appears multiple times for a single player. Some entries are repeated, meaning that each may be viewed once, even though the content is the same.

Initial infection

Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Intro:

How you doing? Welcome back to the Cook show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware.

Host:

Let's quit fooling around!
You know why we're here...
Cake!
First you need a batter - take a bowl and mix in...
Flour! Butter! Sugar! Egg! Yeast! Milk!
You get all that?
Flour! Butter! Sugar! Egg! Yeast! Milk!
Add it all into a Baking Pan and... add some flavor.
Today I'm using banana, berries...
And a squeeze of lemon.
Then into the oven, and leave to get delicious!
Can't beat that smell, huh?
See you tomorrow!


Time: 06:0011:30

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
Today we're building a...
A bookcase.
You'll need five planks and four nails.
Take your hammer like so... and...

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Okay so we're talking to men today, apparently.
Focus-testing. You got to love it, huh?
Anyway, men like bars. They like a beer.
<sigh>
Would you... dude...
Like to build a bar in your own home?
They say you really would. So... for the corners.
Four planks, four nails and some nimble fingers.

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Yee-hah. There y'all are.
And for the middle? The bar element?
Same again: four planks, four nails.

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Put it all together and... you're good and ready.
Well, I need a drink.
Here's to the new era of Woodcraft.
Till next time.

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


July 9 1993

Date: July 9, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Dean:

Welcome back to Exposure Survival guys.
I'm Dean and I'm goin' back to nature.
Okay so here's the deal.
You're a long way from home.
You're hungry, you're lost, you're alone.
Life isn't all... Coke Floats and laughing it up.
Find a river that's jumping with fish.
Then build a rod.
Take a stick or a branch, tie up some twine...
Like this...
And use a paperclip on the end to snag those fish.
Now if you're a smart-arse, you're saying:
"Hey Dean, where'd the paperclip come from?"
I always carry a paperclip guys, and so should you.
It's the first thing they teach in the Army.
Until next time guys.


Date: July 9, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

Welcome back to the Cook Show folks.
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

Today's the day for a nourishing Chicken and Noodle soup.
I don't know about you, but a good Chicken soup?
It solves everything.
Nourishing, mood-lifting...
The smell of home, y'know?
To start, you need some cooked chicken.
Broil, fry, bake - your choice.
Then get yourself a pot of water.
Add it in, bring to the boil and add...
Bell Pepper, Onion, Potato...
Don't matter if anything's getting stale.
Soup fixes everything.
Then don't forget those dry ramen noodles and...
A few twists of pepper.
Bam! Chicken and Noodle soup.
Guaranteed to lighten a rainy day.
See y'all tomorrow!


Date: July 9, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
We're startin' with the basics.
The kinda stuff they teach at kindergarten.
You like floors? I like floors.
Take a plank and a nail like this...
Take your hammer and...

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Looks kinda nice like that huh?

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Know what else is good for practice?
A sign. Write whatever you like.
Hunk at work, maybe?

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Like that ladies? Leadin' y'all straight to me!
Tomorrow we're takin' off the training wheels.
Door frames here we come!

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


Date: July 9, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

Welcome to Exposure Survival guys.
I'm Dean and I'm goin' back to nature.
This is a show that'll teach you the basics of outdoor life.
But before we get to survival - lets nail the basics.
Let's fish.
Now I'm sure you've got your rod...
But then: bait.
What bait should you get?
Well worms are common, right?
So dig, and get a bunch.
Or there's lures, or maybe smaller fish - ey?
Find your river, cast the line - wait a while.
Job done.
Until next time guys.


July 10 1993

Date: July 10, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Advert:

Do we have an amazing product today for you!
This looks like any normal Kitchen Knife, am I right?
Well - if you thought I was right, I was wrong.
This is a Kitchen Knife by Kitten.
Kitten Knives are strong, sturdy and sharp.
Look at this handle, I mean just look at the handle.
Chopping. Slicing. Dicing.
All a joy.


Date: July 10, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

Hey! You're with the Cook Show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

My family are outdoors types.
So my refrigerator can get kinda interesting.
One thing I can cook - and cook mighty fine - is rabbit.
Now rabbit's a light flavor, so in today's stew...
We're gonna back it up with bacon.
Everyone likes bacon, huh?
Cook your rabbit meat, add to a pot of water then...
Throw in your bacon, your tomato, your onion...
... your carrots, if you want.
Then, if you're like me, just a bit of salt for flavor.
Seventy minutes on high heat will do ya.
Bam! Looks good, huh?
Split into four bowls, or two if you're hungry.
See y'all tomorrow.


Date: July 10, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
Intermediate carpentry! Yeehah!
Sick of seein' your fella's face ladies?
You need a wall in there: a big one.
Three nails, three planks... take that hammer and...

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

That there's a piece of wall.
Neat huh?
Now doors and windows? That's the end game!
There's one thing you can do for them right now mind...
And that's find 'em a place to hang.
Window frames, door frames... all the same to me.
Four planks and nails! Let's go!

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

There you go ladies!
Most fun I had recently with ma shirt on!
Next time - intermediary part 2!
We find somewhere you can rest that sweet be-hind!
Chairs! Don't miss it!

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


Date: July 10, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

Welcome back to Exposure Survival guys.
I'm Dean and we're goin' back to nature.
So you're a million miles from civilization, right?
You've got a camp.
You've got a water supply.
But you're in for the long haul.
Let's Robinson Crusoe! Right?
Time to farm.
You won't get anywhere without seeds - so find 'em.
Take a trowel. A shovel... hell maybe even your bare hands.
Dig some earth.
Then sow seeds, and then... water 'em.
Keep 'em watered, don't trample 'em...
...and watch the sky.
You're at the mercy of the elements here.
Who doesn't like a carrot, ey?
Until next time guys.


July 11 1993

Date: July 11, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Doctor Cox:

I'm Doctor Cox, and I'm here to talk to YOU about bladder control.
Now I've been helping families for forty long years, but I have NEVER...
... come across a treatment like Incontileve.
Everywhere I go, good friends say 'Thank you Doctor Cox'.
Thanks for asking family doctors to recommend:
Incontileve.

Disclaimer:

Product may cause swelling of the urinary tract....
...headaches, nausea and sudden irritation.

Outro:

Ask your doctor today.


Date: July 11, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

Hey! You're with the Cook Show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

Now, I stood on the scales the other day...
I got a shock people!
Got me to thinking about a show that celebrates the healthy life?
So here it is - the Salad Special.
Just cause there's leaves, don't mean you'll heave.
Take a bowl - and as a base throw in some lettuce.
Then we add cheese, ham - and we're almost at Bam!
Let's add in some mayo...
Maybe a bit more mayo...
Bam!
Light and delicious!
Just don't leave it too long huh?
Can't wait to hand this out to the team here!


Date: July 11, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
We're at intermediary level still and...
... sorry ladies but the shirt is STILL on.
Hey, daytime TV y'all. Not my call.
Wore these pants nice and tight though. Huh?
Hey! Pay attention! Today: it's chairs!
What do we need?
Five planks! Four nails! Yeehah!

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Ladies! Can you be-hi-lieve it?
Now hows about some shelves?
Someplace for your jewelleries, your precious stuff?
TWO PLANKS! FOUR NAILS! GO!

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Just gotta...

Background:

*bang*

Woodcut:

That's it.
Oh hey, sick of folk seeing you sunbathin'?
I was. Get it all the time.
So I built me a fence.
I was all: two planks, three nails, bang, bang.
And here she is!
So if you'll excuse me, I'll just...
Get comfy with my shirt off...
Next time on Woodcraft? Doors!
Can I hear a yee-hah?


Date: July 11, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

Welcome back to Exposure Survival guys.
I'm Dean and I'm goin' back to nature.
Okay so here's the deal.
You're a long way from home.
You're hungry, you're lost, you're alone.
Life isn't all... Coke Floats and laughing it up.
Find a river that's jumping with fish.
Then build a rod.
Take a stick or a branch, tie up some twine...
Like this...
And use a paperclip on the end to snag those fish.
Now if you're a smart-arse, you're saying:
"Hey Dean, where'd the paperclip come from?"
I always carry a paperclip guys, and so should you.
It's the first thing they teach in the Army.
Until next time guys.


July 12 1993

Date: July 12, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Speaker:

Now I'd like you to meet my good friend Tooks Bear.
Tooks Bear is the friendliest, smiliest, bounciest bear in town.
You know why you'll like him the most?
He's only $49.99 plus postage and packing.
All I have to do is press this little button on his paw and...

Tooks Bear:

I'm Tooks Bear! Let's go on an adventure!

Speaker:

We sure will Tooks!
For $49.99 who'd resist? Call now!


Date: July 12, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

You're back with the Cook Show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

Today, we're gettin' a taste of Asia - with a frying pan.
Now, minding you don't cut yourself with this...
Super sharp Kitten Knife.
Cut your pork to pieces and throw it into fry.
Then add in some fresh vegetables.
I'm using onion to start, then Bell Pepper and Eggplant.
If you're hungry then try it out with some noodles.
See? Cooking can be fun and easy.
And it's always healthy.
Puts a smile on your face and...
Bam!
A spring in your step too!
Now you have a great day!


Date: July 12, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
Well hey! Y'all just caught me working out!
Got a real sweat going on here!
Next time I'll shut the door...
But hey! There's no door!
Guess this happened to just the right guy!
You know the drill!
Four planks! Four nails! One knob! Two hinges!
BANG! BANG!

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Now I don't read books, but some folk do.
Books need cases, so next up: a bookcase.
Something that'd look mighty fine next to the bed of a lady.
A clever readin' lady, with three planks and four nails.

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Now that's my best yet!
I'll put it here next to my four plank, four nail table.
Next time? Beds!
Bang bang ladies, and yee-hah!

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


Date: July 12, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

Welcome back to Exposure Survival.
I'm Dean guys, and I'm back with nature.
Alright so you're closing in on Everest Base Camp.
But it's getting dark.
It's cold as hell, and oxygen isn't there.
What do you do? You build a fire!
Take three pieces of wood - planks maybe.
Then you need fuel. Anything that burns.
Old newspaper, books, bandages.
Add a bit of the old rocket fuel... get it, ey?
And flick your lighter like... this...
There's a fire, right there.
You'll be warm, and the sherpas will love it!
Big shout out to the 42nd!
Until next time guys!


July 13 1993

Date: July 13, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Advert:

I don't know about you, but when I golf with my buddies...
There's always this special moment.
You get your clubs out the trunk, your friend does the same...
And you compare - right?
Until I bought a set of Ivanov clubs, that was a mental battle I always lost.
To get the best, you've gotta look for the best.
So it's your lucky day.
Today I'm here to show you: the best.
Let's find out why golfing the Ivanov way is...
...pitch perfect.


Date: July 13, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

Hey there. Welcome back to the Cook Show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

Now I hear it all the time - why so simple?
I tell you why so simple...
I want to make healthy cooking as easy as...
...standing in line at Spiffos' or sittin' in Pizza Whirled.
Now I love a BLT.
That's a Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato sandwich.
It's God's Gift to bread.
So let's make one together!
First - you cook up that bacon.
I like mine crispy as all heck, but do it to your liking.
Then take your bread, and add in that bacon.
Then tomato and your lettuce.
Not too much lettuce.
And bam! Easy as that!
Just like Mom used to make!
And if you want to be a bit more decadent? One word:
Meat patty!
I make mine with an egg to hold it all together!
Who can resist a juicy burger?
See you tomorrow everyone!


Date: July 13, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
We're there! Advanced Carpentry! Yee-hah!
Now I broke my bed last week.
I'll spare you the details, as y'all would blush.
I needed a new place to rest my head, and I needed it quick.
So what did I do? I'll show you!
Let's build a bed ladies! Let's do it now!
Six planks! Four nails! One mattress!
Bang! Bang! Yee-hah!

Background:

*bang*

Woodcut:

Yee-hah!

Background:

*bang*

Woodcut:

And there she is, but the test drive can wait.
We done the exciting stuff...
...but I've also gotta show you how to make a Large Table.
It's no bed, and that's for sure.
Take six planks and four nails.

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Neat, huh?
Next time: I'm taking y'all upstairs.
On stairs!
Till next time!

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


Date: July 13, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

Hey, I'm back with nature and I'm Dean.
Welcome back to Exposure Survival.
One time I was out in the woods on South Island and...
All of a sudden, I realized I'd lost my tent.
Nightmare, ey?
What I did have was four tent pegs - and four sheets.
Using a stick I found foraging I built... this.
Not much, but it's home - or one with fabric walls, ey?
Don't get me wrong, it gets cold alright.
But it keeps out the elements.
Sometimes that's enough.
Until next time guys!


July 14 1993

Date: July 14, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Speaker:

We've got a caller! Hi Dean!
Thanks so much for taking the time out from your show on Life and Living!

Dean:

No worries guys!
I just wanted to say that the climbing gear you're selling today...
It looks AMAZING. Real quality stuff.

Speaker:

I love it when you get in touch Dean.

Dean:

It just looks like the BARGAIN of a LIFETIME.

Speaker:

Well, today only, I'm throwing in a set of crampons.

Dean:

I'm sold. Put me through to sales line!

Speaker:

Stocks are getting low folks! Call now!


Date: July 14, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

How are you doing? This is the Cook Show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware.

Host:

Now today's recipe is a family favorite: pie!
And not the sweet cherry pie kind...
A delicious, hearty and wholesome savory pie...
Mutton, leek and carrot!
First you need your pie base.
Mix in some flour, yeast, sugar and butter.
Use all that with your rolling pin...
That right there is a Pie Preparation!
Wrap in your lamb or mutton, your leeks and your carrots.
And season to taste!
And bake!
See you tomorrow!


Date: July 14, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
This show is real special: it's for the ladies.
In my experience ladies LOVE stairs!
They're smilin' when they go up them...
...and they're smilin' more when they come back down.
Yeehah! So what do we need?
Eight planks! Eight nails and an A-D-Vanced knowledge of Car-pen-try!

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Gonna need some more over...Here...

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

What goes good at the top of a flight of stairs?
A table with a drawer in it, right? That make you yee-hah?
Makes me yee-hah anyways.
A lady could keep her valuables in it.
Maybe a bible, maybe a gun.
Five planks! Four nails! Go!

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

That's enough for this week, huh?
If you're wantin' more - I'll be upstairs.
Till next time!

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


Date: July 14, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

Hey, it's me. Dean - back with some nature.
Welcome back to Exposure Survival.
Now I hate killing little creature guys.
But sometimes you've just got to survive, right?
Today we're building what I call a 'Wooden Cage Trap'.
It's this cage you build out of wood.
Inside it you trap stuff.
So right now I'm taking this saw to three planks.
Then, five nails should do you right.
Just hammer it all into place...
...like this.
Now let's go somewhere quiet.
Here I am in the woods, and I'm setting down the trap.
Just... chuck in some bait like this and get outta there.
When you come back?
Maybe there'll be a little animal guy there.
Ready for the pot.
Once you've killed and gutted him anyway.
Until next time guys!


July 15 1993

Date: July 15, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Diane:

It Steams! It Broils! It can even fricassee!

Speaker:

What is this amazing machine Diane?

Diane:

Why it's the Harakka all-purpose slow-broiler, from Scandinavia!

Speaker:

I had NO idea that Scandinavia was such an AMAZING place!

Diane:

Well now you do! Have you seen me do this yet?

Speaker:

No way.

Diane:

Uhuh!

Speaker:

And what can I put in there?

Diane:

Vegetables, meat, your favourite snack....
This is the FIRST machine of its kind. And you know what?

Speaker:

What?

Diane:

It's a DREAM to clean. Just watch.

Speaker:

That is amazing. How do I get one?

Diane:

Just call the number on-screen!
You know how this works by now!


Date: July 15, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

How you doing? Welcome back to the Cook show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware.

Host:

Let's quit fooling around!
You know why we're here...
Cake!
First you need a batter - take a bowl and mix in...
Flour! Butter! Sugar! Egg! Yeast! Milk!
You get all that?
Flour! Butter! Sugar! Egg! Yeast! Milk!
Add it all into a Baking Pan and... add some flavor.
Today I'm using banana, berries...
And a squeeze of lemon.
Then into the oven, and leave to get delicious!
Can't beat that smell, huh?
See you tomorrow!


Date: July 15, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Woodcut:

Y'all are watching Woodcraft!
Your one stop shop for home improvement!
Today we're building a...
A bookcase.
You'll need five planks and four nails.
Take your hammer like so... and...

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Okay so we're talking to men today, apparently.
Focus-testing. You gotta love it, huh?
Anyway, men like bars. They like a beer.
<sigh>
Would you... dude...
Like to build a bar in your own home?
They say you really would. So... for the corners.
Four planks, four nails and some nimble fingers.

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Yee-hah. There y'all are.
And for the middle? The bar element?
Same again: four planks, four nails.

Background:

*bang* *bang*

Woodcut:

Put it all together and... you're good and ready.
Well, I need a drink.
Here's to the new era of Woodcraft.
Till next time.

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


Date: July 15, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

It's Dean - back with Exposure Survival!
Hey guys! Welcome back to Nature!
All the time people ask: "Dean - where do you find all this stuff?"
"You're in the middle of nowhere but you've got cool gear."
Well there's two answers to that question-asker.
One is the paperclip: which stays on me at ALL times.
The second is foraging.
It's amazing the sort of stuff that nature can provide.
So next time you're in the woods: open your eyes.
Look around.
And when you've picked up what you can find?
Well that's just amazing, ey?
Then check out the woods next door.
Woods are just awesome.
Until next time guys!


July 16 1993

Date: July 16, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Speaker1:

This house used feel dark and lonely, but...
...with Connall and Coble overhead lights - life is illuminated.

Speaker2:

I'll see you later honey!

Speaker1:

Bye sweetie. Back at seven for pot roast!

Speaker2:

Sure thing! Hey isn't it bright in here?

Speaker1:

It sure is.
Connall and Coble overhead lighting can do magic.

Speaker2:

Enjoy your day!

Speaker1:

Now he's gone - I'll let you into a secret.
Order today and you can bring life back into your home...
... with 10% off every order.
Be like me.
My life is illuminated, with Connall and Coble!


Date: July 16, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

Welcome back to the Cook Show folks.
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

Today's the day for a nourishing Chicken and Noodle soup.
I don't know about you, but a good Chicken soup?
It solves everything.
Nourishing, mood-lifting...
The smell of home, y'know?
To start, you need some cooked chicken.
Broil, fry, bake - your choice.
Then get yourself a pot of water.
Add it in, bring to the boil and add...
Bell Pepper, Onion, Potato...
Don't matter if anything's getting stale.
Soup fixes everything.
Then don't forget those dry ramen noodles and...
A few twists of pepper.
Bam! Chicken and Noodle soup.
Guaranteed to lighten a rainy day.
See y'all tomorrow!


Date: July 16, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Speaker:

Now I'd like you to meet my good friend Tooks Bear.
Tooks Bear is the friendliest, smiliest, bounciest bear in town.
You know why you'll like him the most?
He's only $49.99 plus postage and packing.
All I have to do is press this little button on his paw and...

Tooks Bear:

I'm Tooks Bear! Let's go on an adventure!

Speaker:

We sure will Tooks!
For $49.99 who'd resist? Call now!


Date: July 16, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Dean:

Dean right here: welcoming YOU back to Nature.
This is: Exposure Survival!
Everyone gets thirsty, right? I know I do.
If you're a way away from a river though, and there's no tap?
What are you going to do when the sky stops providing?
I'm talking rain guys.
Storing rain, or 'water', is vital to survival.
So build a Rain Collector Barrel to collect water.
Take four wooden planks, four nails and...
Whack 'em with your hammer.
Then use rubbish bags, or 'garbage' bags, for the interior.
Then: look at the sky.
When it rains just watch that thing fill.
You'll think: 'Wow. I'm not going to die."
"And that is awesome!"
Until next time guys!

Jingle:

♪ Wood... craft! ♪


July 17 1993

Date: July 17, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Speaker:

Now I'd like you to meet my good friend Tooks Bear.
Tooks Bear is the friendliest, smiliest, bounciest bear in town.
You know why you'll like him the most?
He's only $49.99 plus postage and packing.
All I have to do is press this little button on his paw and...

Tooks Bear:

I'm Tooks Bear! Let's go on an adventure!

Speaker:

We sure will Tooks!
For $49.99 who'd resist? Call now!


Date: July 17, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

Hey! You're with the Cook Show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

My family are outdoors types.
So my refrigerator can get kinda interesting.
One thing I can cook - and cook mighty fine - is rabbit.
Now rabbit's a light flavor, so in today's stew...
We're gonna back it up with bacon.
Everyone likes bacon, huh?
Cook your rabbit meat, add to a pot of water then...
Throw in your bacon, your tomato, your onion...
... your carrots, if you want.
Then, if you're like me, just a bit of salt for flavor.
Seventy minutes on high heat will do ya.
Bam! Looks good, huh?
Split into four bowls, or two if you're hungry.
See y'all tomorrow.


Date: July 17, 1993
Time: 12:0018:00

Television.png

Doctor Cox:

I'm Doctor Cox, and I'm here to talk to YOU about bladder control.
Now I've been helping families for forty long years, but I have NEVER...
... come across a treatment like Incontileve.
Everywhere I go, good friends say 'Thank you Doctor Cox'.
Thanks for asking family doctors to recommend:
Incontileve.

Disclaimer:

Product may cause swelling of the urinary tract....
...headaches, nausea and sudden irritation.

Outro:

Ask your doctor today.


Date: July 17, 1993
Time: 18:0023:30

Television.png

Speaker:

Now I'd like you to meet my good friend Tooks Bear.
Tooks Bear is the friendliest, smiliest, bounciest bear in town.
You know why you'll like him the most?
He's only $49.99 plus postage and packing.
All I have to do is press this little button on his paw and...

Tooks Bear:

I'm Tooks Bear! Let's go on an adventure!

Speaker:

We sure will Tooks!
For $49.99 who'd resist? Call now!


July 18 1993

Date: July 18, 1993
Time: 00:0006:00

Television.png

Speaker:

Now I'd like you to meet my good friend Tooks Bear.
Tooks Bear is the friendliest, smiliest, bounciest bear in town.
You know why you'll like him the most?
He's only $49.99 plus postage and packing.
All I have to do is press this little button on his paw and...

Tooks bear:

I'm Tooks Bear! Let's go on an adventure!

Speaker:

We sure will Tooks!
For $49.99 who'd resist? Call now!


Date: July 18, 1993
Time: 06:0012:00

Television.png

Intro:

How you doing? You're on the Cook Show!
Brought to you by Kitten Knives - Fine American Cookware

Host:

Today we're going to settle something!
Something once and for all!
Pancakes or waffles, which is best?
Well, I'll tell ya.

Static:

<fzzt>
<bzzt>
<bzzt>


See also

External links